Picking Isolation as a Lifestyle Decision
Are you secretly thrilled when a friend bails on dinner? Or do you'd rather Netflix and chill than hit the movie theater? Ever wonder if yapping to your cat is the new normal? Are we truly flourishing in our self-proclaimed "anti-social" era?
Derek Thompson famously coined the term "anti-social century" in a piece for The Atlantic in February 2023. Sure, there's been talk about the desolation felt by some demographics (Statistics Canada reported that 13% of adults aged 15+ confessed to feeling lonely often or always in Q1 of 2024). But Thompson dives into our collective obsession with solitude.
Thompson insists that since keeping records in 1965, Americans have donned their hermit hats more than ever. This newfound introversion, he claims, shakes up our personalities, politics, and even our perception of reality. Reading his findings left me uneasy—what lies ahead for us?
Sociology professor Cécile Van de Velde, of the University of Montreal, delves into solitude as part of her research. She acknowledges the trend of cozying up at home in Quebec, even referring it to as a "culture of the home." However, her viewpoint strays from Thompson's. The journalist assigns the blame for our solitude to social media and screens. Van de Velde counters, "If we prefer our couches, it's often because we're overburdened by work, multi-tasking, and a breakneck pace."
I've seen in studies that people can feel torn between wanting, and needing, solitude and human interaction. Seeking solace at home caters to the desire to shield oneself from excessive social exposure and recharge.
Sadly, the home has become the central hub for living, working, eating, and socializing for 21% of Canada's population, according to Statistics Canada. But the habits developed during the pandemic, which were already gaining traction, limit face-to-face interactions.
The Anti-Social Century uncovers that the number of American adults having dinner with friends on the average evening has plummeted by 30% in the last two decades. The frequency of young people meeting friends daily outside of school decreased by half since the 1990s.
However, Van de Velde insists that even though people may be less socially active, they can still maintain connections via social media. Yet, there's a risk of drifting for some, she warns, "Solitude is considered positive as long as one knows they can break free and retain control. If the exit horizon disappears and solitude becomes the norm, the sheen of risk associated with face-to-face interactions might wear off and re-exposure to others might become challenging."
It's comforting to hear that slipping into solitude and shying away from social activities doesn't instantly transform us into social pariahs. But what about the digital fads that praise choosing isolation? For instance, youngsters on TikTok and Instagram who relish in canceled hang-outs.
Van de Velde reinterprets this phenomenon as a rebellion against the traditional norm of extroverted sociable partying and a recognition of the diverse ways we can interact with each other.
Both the sociology professor and the journalist share common ground in their concern about the political repercussions of self-inflicted solitude. Thompson highlights that online, we can sidestep discussions we dislike, and being a homebody makes engagement with diverse perspectives effortless. Over time, face-to-face interactions, even with people we might not immediately see eye-to-eye with, can foster empathy and understanding.
Ultimately, meeting others builds a sense of community. Van de Velde echoes this sentiment, "Reduced opportunities to engage with individuals from diverse backgrounds can negatively impact the political climate, potentially leading to weaker social consciousness."
So, how do we honor our thirst for solitude while maintaining connections that enriches our lives and our world? For Thompson, consider creating inviting public spaces, hosting more home-cooked meals with friends, establishing rituals that divert attention from screens, and even taking time to exchange warm greetings with strangers on public transit! I tried this experiment for 10 days... It provided a mix of happy reminiscences and awkward moments.
Now, hunt down the report "Hello!" if you'd like to find a healthy balance between solitude and social engagement to avoid what Thompson calls "chronic social disconnection." Because, as it turns out, even the most introverted hermit crab needs companionship, eventually.
Optional Resources:1. Read the report "Hello!" to learn how to strike a balance between solitude and social engagement.2. Delve deeper into the consequences of chosen solitude on social interactions, mental health, and the political climate by reading Derek Thompson's "The Anti-Social Century" (subscription required).
- Derek Thompson, in his piece for The Atlantic, coined the term "anti-social century" in February 2023, discussing the increasing trend of solitude.
- Sociology professor Cécile Van de Velde, of the University of Montreal, suggests that the trend of solitude is not solely due to social media but also due to the pressures of work and multi-tasking.
- Studies reveal that people often feel torn between the desire for solitude and human interaction, with many seeking solace at home to avoid excessive social exposure.
- The shift towards solitude has implications on various aspects of society, including politics, as it can potentially lead to reduced opportunities for engaging with individuals from diverse backgrounds.
- The home, serving as a central hub for living, work, and socializing, can limit face-to-face interactions, according to Statistics Canada.
- Thompson's research indicates a decrease in the frequency of Americans having dinner with friends on average evenings and of young people meeting friends daily outside of school.
- Van de Velde argues that even though people might be less socially active, they can still maintain connections via social media, yet there's a risk of drifting for some if solitude becomes the norm.
- Thompson suggests creating inviting public spaces, hosting home-cooked meals with friends, establishing screen-free rituals, and exchanging warm greetings with strangers on public transit to maintain a healthy balance between solitude and social engagement.
